Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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