i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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