I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
