I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
