I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
