I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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