Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
