And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
