Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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