sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She told me I should be a condom model.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
