think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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