He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
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