woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
