Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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