Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
