STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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