it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
