That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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