Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
