went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
