I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
