Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
