First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize