Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
