Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
