Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Randomize