my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
