i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
