We're facebook friends in real life
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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