OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
