Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I am full of burrito and curiosity
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
