I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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