chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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