I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
