Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
