Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
