YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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