There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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