I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize
