Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
