I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize