I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize