I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
