im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
