Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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