i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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