When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
