omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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