happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
