she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize