i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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