Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
