I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
