Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Dear god my vagina.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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