Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
