Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
