did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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