I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
