we have pet lesbian snakes
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
