All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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