ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
