Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
