we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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