my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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