he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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