I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
