i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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