franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I can't turn off my feet"
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
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