He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
