i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
