was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
a search helicopter?!
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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