Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize