yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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