My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize