My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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