He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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