There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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