Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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